Room 101
by Majokai Yukiko
Summary: CHAPTER 5 UP! AU from the ending of PoA. Just as happiness seems to be within reach, a greater evil rises to threaten them...who, or what, is this evil? What is in the fabled Room 101?
1. Chapter 1

Room 101 | Chapter One 

**A Harry Potter Fanfiction By Majokai Yukiko**

**Pairing: Sirius + Remus**

**Warning: Slash**

**Rating: PG-15, so far. **

**Spoilers: Prisoner of Azkaban (A 'What-If' that takes place after canon)**

**This is an amateur effort and does not intend to infringe on the rights of J K Rowling, Scholastic Books and their associates. **

**A/N: I know this is a very old plot, clichéd idea and all. But doesn't that make it all the more challenging to write? I'm trying my best over here, peeps. So, please review. Thank you. **

Dedicated to Ally. Merry Christmas 2003 

I can't finish it in time, so I'm making it a point to try complete this by Easter. 

---

"You know what is in Room 101, Winston. Everybody knows what is in Room 101." ~O'Brien to Winston, 1984 ****

Sirius pushed through the crowd wildly. In his haste, he ignored the various people who had come up to him, congratulating him on his newfound freedom. The words of Cornelius Fudge resounded in his ears. He was a free man. After twelve years, he was finally free. 

"The court hereby proclaimed Sirius Black innocent."

Behind him, Peter was screaming his protests while being escorted out of the courtroom by a couple of Dementors. The magically enhanced handcuffs around his wrists prevented him from using his Animagus power to escape once again, the way he had done so long ago. 

Sirius ignored him. He only had one thought on his mind, one person to find to share this happiness with. 

"Sirius!" Harry threw his arms around his godfather, a wide smile splitting his face into two. "Sirius?" Harry frowned at the look on the man's face, following his frantic gaze around the courtroom. 

"Where is he?" Sirius demanded, pulling Harry's arms off his neck and held the boy at arm's length away. 

"Where is who?"

"Remus! Where is Remus?!"

Harry's face fell, not knowing how to answer to his godfather's question. Sirius shook the boy none-too-gently, the expression on his face dissolving into fearful worry. 

"He didn't come. Said he was busy…" Sirius' arms dropped off Harry's shoulders limply, hanging boneless by his sides. The noise around him seemed to be most deafening silence. He could not hear anything, nor see anything. 

There was only one thought on his mind. 

_Remus didn't come. Said he was busy. _

_He was busy. _

_Didn't come. Remus. Not here._ ****

Ron Weasley limped over to where the two were, his left leg still hurting from his last run-in with Padfoot. He drabbed his arms casually around his best friend's shoulders and grinned. But Harry did not turn to smile back at him. ****

"Harry?" Ron looked up, his grin slipping away when he saw the lost expression on Sirius' face, and the hot tears rolling from hurt-glazed eyes. 

***

Harry flipped onto his back on his bed and threw his arm over his eyes. Two weeks. He had waited for two weeks of the summer holidays for his godfather to magically appear at the Dursleys' doorstep and take him away from the mean family he spent the past twelve years with, just like what Hagrid had done on his tenth birthday, albeit permanently this time. He never wanted to look into the pudgy face of Dudley again, nor set eyes on that little house on Privet Drive. Ever.

The Dursleys had treated him almost civilly from since they came to pick him up at the station and when Ron gleefully let slip that the supposed mass murderer they saw on TV, Sirius Black, was in fact Harry's godfather. Not only was he an ex-convict, he was a powerful wizard who would more than likely pay them a little house visit sometime over the holidays. 

But after a fortnight of not hearing two barks or a growl from Padfoot, Harry was beginning to doubt if it had all been another crazy dream of his. 

Harry bolted upright from his bed when he heard Aunt Petunia's shrill scream and a familiar chuckle from below. He dashed out of his room and down the stairs, only to meet with a very amusing sight at the doorstep. 

Sirius was half-kneeling on the floor, fanning worriedly at an unconscious Aunt Petunia in his arms and staring daggers at the bemused brunette beside him. 

"Really, Moony, the least you could do to is to offer help, please?" Remus chuckled louder. 

Before Harry could even greet his father's best friends, Uncle Vernon came storming in from the backyard, a heavy-looking rounders bat in his hands. When he saw Sirius, his red face blanched with fear. 

"Holy Mothers! You are Sirius Black!" 

Sirius arched an eyebrow and lifted the woman into his arms, brushing past Uncle Vernon to the living room, where he could set her comfortably on the sofa. Remus followed in, offering the owner of the house a pleasant smile and his hand out for a handshake. 

"Good day to you too, sir. My name is Remus Lupin, a professor at Harry's school. This, as you obviously already know, is Sirius Black, Harry's godfather, as named by James when he was still alive."

Uncle Vernon kept shaking his head dazedly. "He doesn't have a godfather."

Sirius smoothed out his shirt and then tucked his hands into his pants pocket. "No, he didn't. Not when I was...er…preoccupied with other things. But now he does." Harry took it as his cue to enter the living room. 

"Sirius! Professor Lupin!" He exclaimed. Remus ruffled up Harry's already messy black hair affectionately. "We are not in school now, Harry. You can call me Remus."

Beside them, Sirius was still looking expectantly at Vernon for a reply. He pursed his lips for a while, raised his eyebrows a little and then rolled his eyes skywards at the delay. He snuck his hands into one of the many pockets in his leather duster and took out his wand. "Well, Mister Dursley. We don't have all day."

Uncle Vernon turned green at the sight of the much-feared object and quickly jostled Harry up the stairs. "Go, Boy! Pack your things and leave! Don't even think about coming back!"

Harry let out a whoop of delight and printed up to his room, two steps at a time. Sirius tucked his wand back into his coat and grinned. 

"Well, well, if I knew showing him my stick would have such an effect, I'd have done so the minute I walked in." 

***

The hunt was on. 

He walked slowly through the dark alleys, enjoying the taste of human fear in the air, so strong that it was almost tangible. He smiled and closed his eyes for a while. Right in front, his prey was only right in front. 

It had been too long, simply too long since he was feeling this free. The freedom was like adrenaline pumping through his veins, giving him the power to keep moving, to keep hunting, to kill, to tear, to chew, to shred and to slowly savor the taste of human blood in his mouth. He felt himself growing increasingly aroused with eager anticipation. 

He found her soon enough. He knew he would. The only challenge was to drag the hunt out for as long as it was pleasurable for him. 

She huddled alone, back against the wall signifying the alley's dead end, bright blue eyes glistening with tears of barely controlled terror. He slowed down and walked leisurely towards her, his most polite smile on his face. 

"Don't be afraid," he whispered. His face was hidden in the shadows. There was no moon that night; the streets were dark, too dark for anyone who valued his life to not stay indoors obediently. His prey clutched the fronts of her jacket tightly together over her low-cut tube. She was young, too young to be out partying till so late. Her glittery eye shadow was dissolving in her sweat. But it was not a warm night. 

London nights were never warm. 

"What do you want?" She asked, trying to sound a lot braver than she really felt. It was no use, since he could smell her fear. He always could. 

"You," and then he struck. 

***

"Where's Remus?" Sirius asked as he walked down the stairs, yawning. He was growing more tired day by day. It seemed as if he was not getting enough sleep regardless of how early he turned in or how late he crawled out of bed, if the eye bags on his face were of any indication. 

It had been a week since Harry moved in with them. Sirius liked the kid, he really did, considering the fact that they had almost twenty years between them; they could get along remarkably well with each other. Sirius originally had his reservations about having a teenager moving in with Remus and he, but Harry had been wonderful so far. Accommodating, accepting, and generally easy to please. 

Harry looked up from his Daily Prophet and cocked his head to one side, arching an eyebrow curiously. 

"I thought you would know, seeing that you are the one sleeping right next to him at night," the teenager teased, enjoying the blush that colored his godfather's face. It was a shock when his father's two remaining best friends cornered him in the kitchen on his first day at Number 12, Grimmauld Place and came out to him. He was glad, nonetheless, that they had decided to treat him like an adult and be honest with him. He would hate to have the lovers sleeping in different rooms just to have him there. Harry did not want to feel more like a burden than he already did. 

That explained Sirius' reaction when Remus did not appear at his trial, Harry figured, still wondering about the reason for Remus' absence. Since neither Sirius nor Remus had brought up that incident, Harry figured it would be best to just let sleeping dogs (or wolves) lie. 

Sirius muttered something about kids who were overly upfront with their guardian's sex life and wandered into the kitchen, pouring a cup of hot coffee for himself. He rested the rim of his mug against his lips, slowly breathing in the sweet aroma of caffeine before taking a couple of careful sips. The dark haired man leant against the kitchen counter and sighed, finally feeling human enough and awake enough to hold a decent conversation. 

Bless God for making caffeine. 

"What's on the news?" He asked, pointing at the Prophet in Harry's hands. The boy only raised it slightly to show Sirius a clear view of the headlines. 

It was a report on some ghastly murder that took place at London's East End the night before. Sirius frowned. Why would the Prophet write on happenings in muggle London? 

"They think it's done by a werewolf. Looks like it, or so they said," Harry explained, as if reading Sirius' thoughts. The other man only snorted in disgust. 

"Obviously they had not done their homework." He placed his empty mug in the sink and watched as Remus' housecleaning spell took over, magically cleaning the mug and returning it back to its original place on the shelf. "It was a new moon last night."

Not that he had looked at the lunar chart himself. Not that he needed to when he had a walking-talking-whining one in his bed. Remus had been complaining of fatigue for the past two days already (that was, until Sirius suggested cure methods that hinged along the idea of naked horizontal activities), so the new moon had to be close. 

Harry shrugged and went back to his reading. 

***

Remus tugged uneasily at the collar of his shirt. This was the first time in a while since he walked into Gringotts.  He never had enough money to feed himself, much less actually keep additional in the wizarding bank. As a matter of fact, Remus was convinced he would have never entered the bank if not for the job recommendation his friend had just given him. 

Bill Weasley chuckled at Remus' unease as he led him into the office, explaining about the things a curse-breaker should be doing while openly admiring how the silver streaks in the werewolf's hair catch the light almost playfully. 

It had been twelve years since Bill had seen Remus. Ever since Sirius Black was imprisoned for the supposed murder of Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin had also gone missing that very night. There was no news of him ever since, until a year ago when Albus Dumbledore found him again in a little Hungarian village teaching basic magic to the wizarding children there. It was also in that same year that Black had escaped from Azkaban, seeking revenge from the one who had framed him. 

Now one year later, Sirius Black was free and was living in his old home at Grimmauld Place with his lover and godson. Bill sighed, and smiled slightly as he took in the changes in Remus' appearance. The last time Bill had seen him, first time after twelve years, was during Pettigrew's trial. Remus had looked terrible then. Dark rings around his sunken eyes, cheekbones gaunt and overly defined. He had looked more like a wraith than anything else. But the difference between then and now was shocking. The Remus Bill had met at Gringotts that day was a different man. His eyes were shining with the light that Bill had not seen since the night when Lily and James died. There was an extra bounce in the way he walked. 

Bill had no idea whether to be jealous or glad that Sirius Black had such an effect on the man he had been in love with for almost two decades. Remus was so suffused with love that he was practically glowing. 

"I have no idea how to thank you for this, Bill." Remus smiled, sitting down in the chair of his new office. He looked around. He never really had a proper office of his own before, well…unless you count the one he had when he taught at Hogwarts. But he never had one with his name in gold plaque on the door before. 

"I can think of one," Bill twitched his eyebrow cheekily, casually flicking a lock of long red hair off his neck. Remus grinned back. 

"Nah, Bill. I'll bite you." He curled back his lips to flash his fangs quickly and leant back against his chair. Remus knew that Bill was interested in him. Back in their days in school, the redhead had never really been overly subtle in his flirtations, much to the frustration of Sirius. He had already told Bill many a times that he was not interested, that werewolves mate for life and he had already chosen his long ago. 

Bill cocked his head to one side and sat down on Remus' table. 

"So…why did you stop teaching at Hogwarts?" He asked, quickly changing the subject. 

Remus licked his suddenly dry lips thoughtfully, not knowing how to answer that question without hurting Bill's feelings. As much as possible, he tried not to flaunt his lost and found relationship with Sirius in front of the Weasley. He left his job because he wanted to stay with Sirius for as long as possible, now that they were lovers again. Teaching at Hogwarts would mean he had to stay away for nine out of the twelve months in a year. Both Harry and he would not be with Sirius then. How could he leave Sirius alone in that house that had too many bitter memories of his childhood in it? 

"You know why, Bill." Remus replied quietly. It was the most tactful he could manage without lying. Thankfully, Bill seemed to understand, as he nodded and slipped off the table. Covering Remus' hand with his own, he kissed his face chastely and muttered a 'good luck' in his ear. 

***

The summer holidays got even better for Harry when Ron came to visit, together with his parents who were at Grimmauld Place on Order business. Sirius did not look particularly pleased to see the Weasleys, but nevertheless he engaged himself in a friendly conversation with Arthur Weasley regarding enchanted muggle items, such as his motorbike and Mr. Weasley's old Ford which Ron and Harry had driven to school and destroyed in their second year. 

Mrs Weasley, on the other hand, had spent the entire afternoon in the kitchen; tinkering with the little muggle appliances there with a confused look on her face. Remus had offered to help her out with them, i.e. teaching her the various usage of that microwave Sirius had insisted on buying. But for reasons unknown, his help was rudely brushed off. 

Remus stayed in the room he shared with Sirius all day, reading up on his latest job at Gringotts. 

Harry and Ron had the most fun, it seemed. The two boys had spent their entire afternoon flying on their broomsticks outside, taking turns on Harry's Firebolt. The good thing about living at Grimmauld Place was that, while the front door was located at Muggle London, the back door opened up to a large green plain. The building itself seemed to be a portal, a gateway between the two worlds. The forest across the field was filled with many magical plants and animals; it acted as a hinterland for Remus when he needed to collect ingredients for commonly used potions such as a cough cure etc. 

Finally, night began to fall. Out of the courtesy of a host, Sirius invited the Weasleys to stay over for dinner, an offer that Ron quickly accepted, much to the displeasure of his mother. Harry did not understand the tension between his godparents and his best friend's parents. Mr. and Mrs Weasley had always been kind to him, it was most curious that they did not feel the same towards his family. 

Remus politely offered the guest room to the Weasleys to rest in while he prepared dinner. Arthur Weasley looked like he was about to ask if he could stay in the kitchen and study the workings of muggle household appliances when his wife practically wrestled him upstairs with pursed lips and a frown on her face. 

Ron looked resignedly at his best friend and shrugged, obviously unused to his mother's behavior too. 

Good, Harry thought. So I'm not the only one who thinks she's acting strange. 

"Sirius," Remus called from the kitchen, while tying his apron strings around his waist. "Why not you take the boys out for a walk?" 

The dark haired man's face brightened up like a kid who had just found his way into a candy store with lots of money in his pockets. In a blink of an eye, the man had become a large black dog with the same expression, wagging his tail furiously while the boys hurried to join him. 

"Get your watch!" Remus yelled again. Harry grinned and pounded up the stairs, knowing that the brunette would be terribly upset if any of them were late for dinner, a habit that Sirius seemed to have picked up these days. 

Harry grabbed his wristwatch from the dresser, another gift from his godfather, and slapped it onto his wrist, trying to fasten it while running out of his room. He slid to a stop when he heard voices from the guest room. 

"You have to stop acting like this, Molly," Mister Weasley chided from behind the closed door. 

"What? I can understand why Harry would want to stay with Sirius, Arthur. But that Lupin…haven't you forgotten the way he was after the Potters died?" 

"Of course I haven't. But…"

"No buts. He was not the slightest concern over young Harry. All he was concerned about was his 'mate' and then for twelve years he disappeared off the face of the earth! It was his best friend's son, Arthur. But he did not care if the boy lives or dies!" 

"I'm sure Remus had his reasons. It was devastating for him too." 

"Sure it was! We all know why he came back to England after all these years. At the slightest hint of Sirius getting free and he was right on the trail of it, like the animal he is! He did not care about Harry at all!" 

It was all too much for Harry. All this while he had wondered about why he was stuck alone with his relatives, without hearing a single thing from the last remaining Marauder. Harry had assumed that the rest of the wizarding community had shunned Remus for his lycanthropy and had disallowed him to visit his best friend's son. But now he knew the truth. 

Remus simply did not care. 

Harry staggered backwards from the room, his watch slipping from his frozen hands and landing on the wooden floor with a soft thud. He spun around, wanting to run down the stairs and out of the house, having some time to his own thoughts and emotions when he saw Sirius standing at the end of the stairs, smoking and watching him with a thoughtful look on his face. 

"We need to talk, Harry." He said simply.

***

End of Chapter 1

Continue to Chapter 2


	2. Chapter 2

**Room 101 | Chapter Two**

**A Harry Potter Fanfiction By Majokai Yukiko**

**Pairing: Sirius + Remus**

**Warning: Slash**

**Rating: PG-15, so far. **

**Spoilers: A 'What-if' story following Prisoner of Azkaban**

**This is an amateur effort and does not intend to infringe on the rights of J K Rowling, Scholastic Books and their associates. **

**A/N: Wrote this in a day's time, when I was too sick to concentrate on studying for exams, but well enough to be easily bored. **

Dedicated to Ally. Merry Christmas 2003 

**Replies to my beloved readers:**

**Not Asha: **I've to admit I'm rather affected by OotP too. ^^ Just that, well, I thought Harry, however independent, will have all sorts of insecurity that every teenager seems to have. Especially so when he just had a new family and was unsure of his place in this family. 

My Harry muse is a very teenage-angsty one, I must admit. I think that kid has got a hard life and that itself can make anyone very insecure towards whatever happiness he had at the mo. 

**Doctor Zosfmov:** Relevance to Room 101? Somewhat, I think. *scratches head* Oh well, the so-called room will appear in this chapter. 

**mystic-angel5:** Thank you for that passionate reply. ^_____________^ Actually, I have written up to the fourth chapter already. Started on my fifth one today. Just waiting for enough reviews before I post. SO...why not you plug this to your friends and get me more reviews? ^0^

Anyway, I've checked your profile. The Harry Potter one, I'll look at it when I'm free. Probably next week or so. But the rest are mostly poetry and though I write poems sometimes, I'm terrible at it. So can't offer any helpful advice on that side, sorry. 

---

_"The thing that is in Room 101 is the worst thing in the world" ~O'Brien to Winston, 1984_

The evening walk contingent later only consisted of Sirius and Harry. Ron had been asked, very politely, to stay behind and help out Remus with the dinner, given that the man had not been feeling well these days and should not be left alone in a potentially dangerous place like the kitchen. The redhead agreed, seeing that Sirius needed to have some sort of father-to-son talk with Harry. His father had prep-talked him before too, especially before their third year when he was frequently advised regarding teenage relationships. His brothers, Fred and George, had chipped in too with silly ideas, such as to sneak into the girls' dormitory without being caught. 

Sirius, on the other hand, had no interest in discussing boy-girl relationships with his godson. James had fumbled through his teenage years, with unsent love letters and sleepless nights. He was sure Harry would have no problems with relationships too. 

No, there was something more important he needed to talk to Harry about. 

Harry dragged his feet across the grass, kicking mindlessly at the wild grass, his lips pursed tightly together. Sirius kept walking, once in a while turning back to check if his godson was still following. They only stopped when they had reached the edge of a lake. 

Sirius picked up a small pebble from the ground and tossed it at the water, watching it bounce across the surface before sinking. 

"Harry…" he started, plopping down on the ground and making himself comfortable. He patted the ground next to him, and smiled, gesturing for Harry to sit down beside him. The teenager sat down reluctantly. 

"Look, Harry. I'm not good at talking. But I'll have to try my best." Sirius took a deep breath, bracing himself. "I'm not trying to tell you that Remus is right by running away from England into Eastern Europe. But you have to understand his situation then, Harry." 

"What situation?" Harry muttered sarcastically. 

"Imagine: he's a werewolf, a dark creature shunned by the entire community. The only people who had accepted him for who he was and befriended him were either dead or imprisoned. Alone, friendless, with no one to turn to." Sirius shrugged. He himself had not had full knowledge of Remus' disappearance. He thought, when he was sent to Azkaban, Remus would have turn to Bill Weasley for help. In those twelve lonely years, he had accepted that his lover would have found comfort in another's arms. He was upset, but he was glad, knowing that Bill loved Remus enough to protect him from those who had hurt him for whom he could not help being. It was a surprise to him that after twelve years, when they met in the Shack again, Remus would once again embraced him as if ten years were just one. 

Sirius shook his head, shaking himself out of his musings. 

"I don't blame him for running. How do you expect him to care for you when everybody else thought, simply because of his lycanthropy, that he was in league with me, and with Voldemort? If you were him, weren't you have done the same?" 

Harry sighed, pulled his legs closer to himself and folded his arms over them, not knowing what to say to that. Putting things into this perspective, his earlier anger had seemed rather childish. But like all teenagers, Harry had nothing but stubborn pride. He had no idea how to say sorry without admitting to his immature outburst. He could only bury his head deeper into the crook of his arms. 

Thankfully, Sirius seemed to have realized that it was difficult for his godson to apologize. He grinned, stretching out a hand to ruffle the already ruffled black hair affectionately. He got onto his feet and held out a hand to Harry. 

"I'll race you home, Harry," he said, and pounded off in the form of a large black dog. 

***

Remus smiled when Padfoot returned with Harry close behind, face flushed from the run. He had sensed the darkness of mood hanging over the boy when they left, though not knowing the cause. He was glad Sirius had managed to talk the boy out of his despair, just like how he had frequently done so for James so many years ago. 

Harry dashed into the house and ran straight towards Remus, throwing his arms around the man's neck and buried his face into one shoulder. The brunette hitched a breath, puzzled at the sudden show of affection, and tried his best to push off the instinctive reaction of throwing Harry off him. He had no idea why he would feel that way. Perhaps it had just been too long since he was so physically close to someone who was not his mate. 

He cast a worried look at Sirius, who had transformed back. But his lover only had a grin on his face. 

"I'm sorry," Harry whispered and then quickly disappeared up the stairs. Remus raised an eyebrow curiously, shrugged and went back to get the dishes out. Kids. 

He took out a couple of plates off the shelves, and then closed his eyes. A shiver coursed through his spine suddenly, and Remus felt his body temperature drop. He could hear voices, muffled but loud, and it was not Sirius half cradling him and asking what was wrong. The voice seemed to come from within him, yelling from inside his mind. 

He felt like he was floating in a dark void, so cold he might as well be dead. Weak trembling hands reached out, pressing palms tightly over his ears. Louder, the voices were getting louder as seconds ticked by. Louder and clearer, until he could hear the words, the words that he had not heard for over a decade. Words that he had no wish to hear again.  

"Remus…" he murmured before losing consciousness.  ****

*** 

Remus' fever got worse during the night. Sirius had fallen into an exhaustion-induced doze when he felt the trashing began. He pushed himself up, throwing a worried look at his lover's direction and pursed his lips, wanting to get up and fetch a wet cloth from the bathroom. A weak but insistent grip around his waist stopped him. 

"I didn't mean it!" Remus cried out. "I don't want him to hate me! But I had no choice! I didn't mean it!" 

Sirius frowned, sitting back down on the bed and squeezing Remus' hand comfortingly. "Hush, love." 

Remus levered himself up to sitting and seized the front of Sirius' shirt, pulling him close, as if he was trying to memorize every detail of that face with his fever-glazed eyes. "He will hate me." 

"Who?" 

The brunette shook his head from side to side, as if denying the question. He repeated, incoherently under his breath, something about a particular someone hating him for what he had done. For what he had no choice but did. For a brief moment, as he pushed his lover back onto the soft sheets, Sirius felt fear. Had Remus done something that had endangered their relationship? He wondered. What could it be, that had gotten the man so guilt-stricken that he had fallen ill with it? Sirius thought back to the past couple of weeks since his release, trying to draw some clues from his memories. None. 

That brief moment passed when Remus shuddered and closed his eyes, calling a name softly as he fell into a restless sleep. 

He called his own name. 

Sirius eased himself up the headboard, and got comfortable. He sighed, running his fingers through his long hair. He had heard many things when he was in Azkaban, inane ramblings by the insane, growing madder as more of them gathered. But never had he heard anyone calling their own name in their sleep. 

Looking down at the sleeping figure, Sirius realized he was afraid. He, who had survived the horrors of the Dementors, was actually afraid for his mate. Something was haunting Remus and he could not protect his lover from it, because he had no idea what it was. Could he save someone from himself? ** __**

Not knowing what else he could do, he slid back down under the covers and hugged Remus close to himself. If given a choice, he would never want to let go. 

***

The corridor was bright. There were just two walls on each side of him, and one door at the end of the passageway. The brunette held one hand over his eyes, as he felt frantically at the walls, trying to make his way down the corridor. It was too bright for him to see. Green and red spots colored his vision. He kept his head down, hoping that it would reduce the glare on his eyes. 

It was useless, for the ground seemed to be made up of some refractory material. All around him was just light, fiery white light. Where was this? He wondered, noting with awe and a slight tinge of fear that he had no shadow. It might be just a trick of the light, but not seeing his own shadow scared him. It was as if…he was just about as substantial as a fictional fairy. 

Rubbing his fingers together to assure himself of his existence, he quickened his footsteps, and finally reached the closed door. He turned the knob, and pushed. 

While the outside was light, inside the room was dark. There felt like there was some sort of a black hole in the room, sucking in all the light and heat there was. Slowly, he shut the door behind him, and wrapped his arms around himself, providing with some slight protection against the bone-chilling cold. 

The darkness hurt his eyes, just as much as the light had. He blinked, just to ensure that his eyes were still there. The darkness unnerved him, more than the light did. Then he heard it. Loud and jarring; it was the sounds of chains dragging across the concrete floor. 

He cleared his throat, trying out his voice in this sense-deprived environment. He could still hear and feel. That was good. That was a bit more assuring. "Hello?" He asked. "Anybody out there?" 

The sound of chains grew louder. And then it stopped. 

"Boo." A voice spoke from behind him. It was his voice he heard. 

***

He must have fallen asleep again, for he had woken up the next morning to a pair of large amber eyes, watching him from above. Sirius smiled, reaching out a hand to caress the smooth cheek tenderly. The skin still felt warm to the touch, but it was slightly better than the way it was the night before. Remus returned the smile and pressed a chaste kiss to Sirius' lips. 

"Good morning, Padfoot." 

"Good morning, Moony. Feeling better?" Sirius asked carefully, studying the closed expression on Remus' face. A big part of him was screaming to get his lover off to St. Mungo's, where healers would be around to provide a logical explanation as to why Remus had suddenly fainted. But another part of him, the rational part, had dredged up fifteen-year-old memory of the last time he had bundled Remus off to see a healer. 

It was hard trying to get his hospital-hating lover to the healers, and even harder to get a healer who would want to help a werewolf.

Remus nodded and got off the bed, padding off to the bathroom. In the wee light of the morning, the bathroom light was about the only illumination there was in the room. 

The sound of water filling the tub started, and above the noise, was Remus asking what had happened to him the day before. 

"I don't know," Sirius answered truthfully, and then paused. Should he ask Remus about what he had said in his fevered dreams? Confused and disorientated, the black haired man swung his legs off the mattress and made his way to the bathroom too, leaning against the doorframe silently. 

Remus was brushing his hair with a white plastic hairbrush, smiling at him through the reflection. Sirius wanted to ask, 'is there something you want to tell me about?' but upon seeing his lover's beautiful though still a little pale face, he held back. 

"You are beautiful," he whispered, going up to Remus, circling his arms around the slim waist. The other man grimaced a little. 

"Sirius, women are beautiful." 

"You are too."

"And you are sappy." 

Sirius grinned, and nuzzled into the long curvy neck he loved so much. He loved this man, he needed this man, and nothing could change that. Whatever Remus had done before, they were together now. New beginnings, fresh starts. They were together after so many years of separation, and that's what that was important. The past were passed, there was no point in dwelling on them any further. 

His lips traveled slowly up to the chin, before capturing the sweet mouth with his own. His arms tightened instinctively around his lover's waist, long fingers teasing playfully at the waistband of the sweat pants Remus had worn to bed. "I love you," he murmured against the kiss, his other hand sliding up the old T-shirt to explore a dusky pink nipple. Remus gasped. 

"Sirius…" 

"Hmm…?" 

"Want to go back to bed?"

***

"Are you all right?" Bill asked when Remus entered the office later that day. "Heard from Ron that you fainted yesterday."

"Uh huh," Remus answered the affirmative, pulling out a couple of case files he was working on the day before from the shelves and humming a cheery tune under his breath. 

Bill drew his eyebrows together suspiciously, wondering if his brother had just played him. Remus did look paler than usual that morning, but definitely not like a man who had just fainted out of no reason the day before. Still with a frown on his face, he sneaked up to Remus and took a deep breath of the air around the man. A slow smirk began to curl around his lips. 

"Ah…sexual healing," he finally said, and then pressed a hand seductively to the small of Remus' back. "Do you need a second opinion?" Remus grinned and slid away with his files to his table. 

"No, thanks," he chuckled, straightening out the folders on the table. "My personal doctor's is enough." 

Bill shrugged his shoulders casually and made his way back to his office. Only with his heightened senses had Remus managed to pick up what the man was muttering under his breath. 

"Well, never hurt for a guy to try." 

The werewolf sat down, leaning against the soft leather cushions of his armchair, trying hard not to think about the strange dream he had the night before. He stretched out his arms above his head with a pleased sigh, feeling much better than he had in days, and then opened the folder at the top of his stack to flip through it idly. 

Guess Bill was right to call it 'sexual healing' after all. 

***

Harry turned the page of his Prophet, casually taking another glance at the clock on the kitchen wall. Sirius was not home yet. He had not been home the night before either. Merlin only knows what the man had up his sleeve this time. 

The rattling of keys at the front door made the boy sit up a little straight. 

"Argh! I'm beat." Sirius complained as he entered the house, tossing his briefcase and keys onto the coffee table. He shrugged out of his outer robe, making a beeline straight towards the kitchen for a much needed drink. 

Harry pursed his lips, waiting for his godfather to explain his absence. When the explanation did not come, he gritted his teeth as well. 

"There's another 'werewolf' killing last night," Harry finally said, referring to the headlines of his newspapers and hoping that Sirius would pick up on the thread of conversation and EXPLAIN. 

"I know," Sirius answered from behind his cup. "I was there."

Harry spun round in his seat in shock, while the older man only chuckled gleefully, digging into his pocket and tossing a piece of parchment on the table. "The owl came yesterday morning, when Remus was out and you were still asleep." 

The boy picked up the letter and folded it open, scanning quickly through its contents. Slowly, his face began to brighten from the scowl to a large wide smile. 

"That's good news, Sirius!" 

"Yup! They took me back. Ha! Sirius Black, the best Auror the ministry ever had." 

"Does Remus know?" Sirius shook his head. He had no time to inform his lover of his reinstatement as an Auror. He reported back to the Ministry the day before and that night he had been sent out with two more others to investigate yet another gruesome murder at London's East End. He spent the next day at the office, sorting out information and listing possible suspects, barely having enough time to grab a quick bite before rushing off for investigations again.

The killings were putting everyone on edge, muggles as well as wizards. It was too gruesome and savagely to be done by a human. It could not have been a vampire, since the victims' blood was not drained. Nor could it be any other more demonic creatures. Those would have attracted too much attention for the murder to be committed with such stealth. The only possibility left was a werewolf. But they were not anywhere close to the full moon yet. 

Sirius sighed. Tough job. 

After his drink, Sirius placed his cup in the dishwasher and retrieved his things from the coffee table, making his way up to the stairs back to his room to apologize to his mate about his uninformed absence and possibly, to just crash into bed and sleep. 

He was so out of shape. Just two days of endless working and there he was, ready to collapse out of exhaustion. He should really be putting some effort into a new training regime before he fell asleep when he was on the field. 

His room door was open when he reached it. The sound of water running in the shower was loud in the empty room. Sirius smiled, throwing his outer robe onto the bed and proceeded to unbutton his shirt. Then, dressed only in his boxers, he closed and locked the door behind him, spreading out supine on the soft bed, waiting for his lover to be out of the bathroom. 

He was not disappointed. The bathroom door slid open, revealing a freshly showered Remus behind it, dressing in a white fluffy robe, toweling his longish hair dry. Remus grinned when he saw Sirius. Letting his towel fall to the ground, he got onto the bed on his hands and knees, seductively crawling up to the other man, blanketing Sirius' sweaty body with his own clean one. Bright blue eyes peeked open behind closed lids. 

"Hi Remus," he greeted, hugging the lithe body close, nuzzling his nose into the damp brown hair.  Sirius felt Remus smile against his skin, and then ran his small but dangerously sharp fangs carefully down his throat. 

"Where did you go?" 

"The Ministry. I'm accepted back as an Auror again." 

Remus sighed, pricking the pliant skin just enough to draw blood. "I thought you left me again." 

Sirius wrapped his fingers around the soft hair, pressing Remus closer to his throat, submitting to his mate with that small gesture. _Claim me,_ he pleaded mentally, _and be assured that it will never happened again._

***

End of Chapter 2

Continue to Chapter 3


	3. Chapter 3

**Room 101 | Chapter Three**

**A Harry Potter Fanfiction By Majokai Yukiko**

**Pairing: Sirius + Remus**

**Warning: Slash. Death of Major Character**

**Rating: PG-15, going up soon**

**Spoilers: A 'what-if' story following Prisoner of Azkaban**

**This is an amateur effort and does not intend to infringe on the rights of J K Rowling, Scholastic Books and their associates. **

**A/N: Wrote this chapter mainly for the murder scene. The party parts of it ended up longer than the murder. **

Dedicated to Ally. Merry Christmas 2003 

---

"We shall meet in the place where there is no darkness." O'Brien to Winston, 1984 

He was in that room again. Everywhere was dark. But instinctively, he knew where he was. His shoulders twitched uncomfortably. Every cell in him was screaming for him to get out of there. Being a natural predator, he knew when he was being hunted instead of hunting. 

Filled with fear or anticipation, he had a hard time deciding which one it was, he waited. He did not have to wait long. Soon, the dragging of the chains started again. He spun around when the noise got louder…and louder. Yet the echoes in the empty darkness made it hard for him to pinpoint the exact source of it. 

Then he realized where he was. It was that place, the place he had not even thought about for twelve years. Why was he here again? What had triggered it this time?

A voice came, rising above the chains. Was it his? Or was it _his_?

"Long time no see, Romulus."  ****

***

Close to the end of July, the Black-Lupin house was decked with brilliant decorations. Both Sirius and Remus had put in much effort in decorating the place, wanting to give their godson a birthday to remember. Harry was sent off on a visit to his best friend's place at the Burrow, all the while with the thought that his guardians had forgotten about his birthday. Ron, of course, knew all about the party, but he was, very sternly instructed by his mother not to breath a word of it to Harry. It was therefore understandably hard on Ron, having to endure Harry's countless complaints about his birthday being forgotten again, and to keep the secret that would silence all these whining once and for all. Nevertheless, the party had managed to be kept top secret from the birthday boy. 

Almost everybody in the wizarding world was invited to the party. Well, everybody that was at least on speaking terms with the party-throwers, of course. That included the entire Order of the Phoenix, most of the Gryffindors in Harry's year, friends of Marauders when they were back in school and the teaching staff at Hogwarts. Professor Trelawny, the Divinations teacher, was not invited though. Neither Sirius nor Remus was keen to risk having the supposed seer predicting everybody's death at the party. 

Remus leaned back against the arms around him and smiled; taking in the work they had done with the decorations. A large banner hung over the dining table, the flashing red and gold words of 'Happy 13th Birthday, Harry!' painted magically across the cloth. With Dumbledore's help, the ceiling of the dining room was enchanted to look like the sky outside, just like the way the Hogwarts Great Hall was like. Candles were placed around the house, ready to be lit with a quick flick of the wand. The place was set for the party the next day, invitations were sent out almost a month ago. Everything was perfect. 

Sirius smiled too, and nuzzled into his lover's hair. Remus closed his eyes, turning around slightly so that their lips met in a sweet kiss. After all the trials and tribulations they had to face in this relationship, they finally had everything they wanted, everything that they had been fighting for. The sight of this quiet respite, the feel of being in each other's arms, giving themselves a mental pat for a decoration job well done, nearly brought tears to their eyes. Remus originally thought it was just he, until Sirius took out his wand and turned off the light switches powered by the modern electricity Sirius had installed. The room was suddenly filled only with starlight, moonlight, and the light of love shared. 

Remus marveled at how the celestial light caught at the highlights of his lover's dark hair, accenting his already handsome features. He frowned when he saw the unshed tears, raising his hands to want to wipe them away. Sirius caught the hand, shook his head and kiss Remus again, slowly lowering his lover onto the plush carpet. 

"I want to make love to you in the moonlight. May I?" Sirius whispered against Remus' soft lips, and then pulled away slightly to watch Remus' reaction. He had only see Remus looking like this once, glowing in the light of the almost full moon, looking so beautiful and vulnerable at the same time. The first time he saw it was when they were fifteen, he thought he must have fallen in love with the boy there and then. Now, as Remus nodded and wrapped his fingers around the long black hair gently, Sirius swore he was falling in love with him all over again.  

Permission granted, Sirius allowed himself to be guided down to kiss Remus once more. 

"I love you." They had no idea who said it. But it did not matter. They both felt the same anyway. 

***

July 31st came silently. Harry sat at the Weasleys' dining table with a frown on his face. Mr. Weasley had just informed him that he would have to return back to Grimmauld Place that night, regardless of whether Sirius and Remus would be in or not, as the family had something on. Drawing bits and pieces of incoherent groaning by the twins, Harry figured it was some sort of magical ritual that bonded the entire family together. 

His thirteenth birthday; Harry had thought birthday that year would be different from the many previous birthdays spent with the Dursleys; at least this year he would be spending it with people who actually care that he was turning thirteen. Guess he was wrong. Sirius and Remus did not breathe a word of it when they dropped him off at the Burrow a week ago, nor did they say anything about having Harry back on his birthday. For all you know the lovers might be secretly rejoicing that they would be able to spend the entire week alone with each other, without any pesky teenager around to interrupt them with his demanding needs. 

The Weasleys left in the afternoon, with Ginny waving goodbye shyly before she jumped into the fireplace. Harry was left alone in the empty house (well, not unless you count the ghost above Ron's bedroom) to entertain himself. He read the books Percy had lent him once through again and then sat around and brood when there was nothing else to do. By eight at night, he was totally bored and figured it was probably time to go home, praying under his breath that he would not interrupt his guardians in any form of horizontal activity when he arrived. 

_I should have owled them this morning_, Harry mentally chided himself. He removed his spectacles and folded them into his shirt pocket. He shrugged his jacket on, grabbed some of the green sparkling dust from the bag beside the fireplace and threw it into the fire. 

"Grimmauld Place," he spoke loudly and flooed. 

Traveling by floo sucks. Harry thought, swirling round and round in the green flames and thick black smoke. He never liked this method of travel, probably because he never figured the finesse for it, often landing at his destination in a less than decent condition. 

It was the same this time around. Harry coughed and wiped at the dirt on his face, and then gasped, landing on the floor of the fireplace at Grimmauld Place with a 'thud'. 

"Really, Harry, anyone would have thought you would know how to travel by floo by now!" 

Hermione? 

"What? You mean the great Harry Potter never knew how to travel by floo?" 

Wait a minute, Seamus?

"Smile for the camera, Harry!" Harry blinked confusedly as a bright white flash enveloped him. Colin Creevey???

When he opened his eyes, all he saw was bright lights all around, and the presence of many, many blurred figures in his living room. Frantically, he retrieved his glasses and put them on. 

"Happy Birthday, Harry!" Sirius yelled, smacking a conical birthday hat onto his godson's head, chuckling at the astonished expression on the boy's face. 

Harry looked around wildly. The living room of Grimmauld Place had been transformed into a fairyland. A gigantic birthday cake was on a table in the middle of it. Not only so, everybody was there! His schoolmates, his teachers, the Weasley family (Bill included), and some other adults he did not recognize…he stared at his godfather with a look of incredulity on his face. 

"How? Do you like it?" Sirius asked. 

"Like it? I love it!" He threw his arms around Sirius, a wide grin splitting his face into two. "Did you do it alone?" 

"Remus helped, of course. But I did most of the work." 

"Well," all heads turned to the kitchen, where Remus had stepped out from with more spaghetti. "That is if you consider work as sitting around and looking pretty." 

Harry thought it was obvious that Remus had deliberately dressed up for his party. The robe the brunette had on was the best in his entire wardrobe, possibly the only one that did not look threadbare, or terribly old. The boy could not help but grin, appreciating the effort his guardians had put in for this. How silly he was, to think that they had forgotten all about his birthday when they had something secretly planned all along!

He turned around, wanting to share his stupidity with Hermione when he noticed her frowning and biting on her lower lip, looking from Sirius to Remus and back again. 

"What's wrong?" He whispered. But she only shook her head, and walked a few steps up to Sirius, asking him if she could take a look at the collection of books in his library. The dark haired man looked shocked. 

"Oh sure," he replied. "But don't you want to party with the rest?" She shook her head again. "If you insist," Sirius shrugged. "It's the fifth room from the left, on the third level. You can read anything you want, but stay away from the Dark Arts books. Some of them may be cursed. I haven't gotten around to sorting through them yet."

Harry watched his best friend nod and dash up the steps, a determined expression on her face, and wondered what extracurricular project had she accepted from one of the teachers again. 

***

She sat alone in the near darkness, nervously flipping through a book, guided only by a dim candlelight. It must be here somewhere, and she had to find out. Nobody would believe her if she did not show them some proof. Likelihood was that she would not believe her hypothesis if she was not proven right.

Unknown to her, a single dark figure was slowly making his way towards her, moving soundlessly across the thick carpet that covered the floor of the library. The room was dark, but even without the candle, he could see clearly where she was. 

"Here it is!" Hermione exclaimed loudly, scanning through the large chunk of text quickly. There it was…all written in black and white…so she was right…the girl let out a gasp, tearing out the page of the book, wanting to bring it downstairs. Surely Sirius would not mind, not when the issue was as important as this. 

"Found anything?" She spun around at the familiar voice, a hand over her heart to calm her racing heart. He could probably hear her heart beating loudly against her ribcage. Slowly, she got her breathing back to normal, only to speed up again when she saw it. 

The smooth silver barrel of a gun shone in the darkness, reflecting the wee light from the candle flame. 

"You wouldn't. They will hear you if you do." 

The figure shrugged, casting a quick glance at the Uzi in his hand. 

"What can I say?" He smiled. "I've got it modified into a silencer." The smile on his face grew wider. "And well, the party's in full swing. I don't think they can hear you…" he looked around the room, absently tracing some vague pattern on the carpet with his feet. "Not when the carpet hides the noise." 

She had all the reasons in the world to be afraid. Inwardly, she knew he was right. Even with the party downstairs, the library they were in was like a dimension cut off from the rest. Even when she first walked in, she had wondered if there was a silencing spell cast over the room. Now she knew better, mentally cursing Sirius for indulging in modern carpeting and having a library on the third level. 

Looking around she weighed her chances of escape. Perhaps if she could make it to the door in time and scream…

Hermione had no chance of completing that thought. A soft bang had ended it for her. Rising the gun, he clocked the safety back on, blowing away the smoke from the barrel theatrically. 

He crossed the distance between him and the corpse, retrieving the torn piece of paper from the girl's clenched fist, and held it over the flame. 

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…" he whispered, crumbling the ashes in his hand, ignoring the sting of the fire. He picked up the book from where Hermione had dropped it and put it back onto its shelve. "Put out the light…" he blew out the candle with a light huff. "And put out the light." 

***

"Hermione sure is taking her own sweet time," Ron commented, looking up again over at the landing for any sight of his other best friend. Beside him, Harry grinned, patting the redhead casually on the back. 

"You know the way she is, Ron. She spends hours in the library."

"Yes…but still…"

Remus walked over to where the boys were, placing a gentle hand on Harry's shoulders with a smile. 

"Harry," the brunette started. "Do you want to cut the cake now?" 

The dark haired boy frowned, checking the time on his watch. It was about time for the cake. Any longer and it would have been past midnight. It would have been the first of August instead of his birthday. They should really cut the cake soon. But…

"Hermione is not back yet." 

"I'll get her!" Ginny volunteered, thrusting her drink and plate of food over to her brother and ran up the stairs. Harry watched her take two steps at once; pounding up the two sets of stairs and disappeared into the corridor. A few seconds later, they heard her scream. 

"GINNY!" The Weasley brothers exclaimed at once. Sirius looked up from where he was talking to Arabella and caught Remus' eyes. His lover gave him a worried frown, and the whole lot of them rushed up the stairs at once, with Harry in the lead. 

They found her standing outside the open door to the library, face hidden behind her eyes, shoulders shaking as she sobbed uncontrollably. Harry shook her lightly, and followed her finger as she pointed… 

…At the limp body of Hermione on the floor of the carpet… 

The originally light gray carpeting was stained dark red with blood. Remus pushed through the crowd from behind, running straight into the library to turn the body over. Hermione's eyes were wide open, her mouth slightly parted as if in mid-scream. The gunshot wound in her chest poured copious amount of blood onto the carpet and Remus' robe, dyeing his Sunday best into red. Remus gritted his teeth as he placed a hand over the girl's eyes, gently nudging the eyes close. 

"Why…why didn't we hear anything…" Lee Jordan choked. Nobody knew how to answer him, so they all looked over to the one who could. Sirius entered the room, placing a comforting hand on his lover's shoulder, knowing how hard he was for him to see one of his best students dead. Behind him, some of the students were already crying, the teachers were trying their best to keep tears in check. When he answered, the reply came as barely a whisper. 

"This room was soundproof…" Sirius looked away. Of course it was. His ancestors had made sure the walls were made with wood sandwiched between two thick layers of cement; the floor was carpeted with the thickest fabric available, and it was the room most removed from the rest of the house. 

It was a library, and libraries were meant to be silent. They had not counted on having a murder committed there unknown to the rest of the world. 

***

Harry's thirteenth birthday passed without the symbolic cutting of the cake and the singing of the birthday song. Not that he particularly cared. He still felt like twelve as he tucked his legs under his chin, staring out at muggle London from his room window. His birthday was his best friend's death day. How ironic…he thought, as he dashed a hand across his eyes again, wincing slightly from the pain in his red and puffy eyes. 

He did not care that boys should not cry. In his humble opinion, anyone who had lost a best friend would have cried like this. She…he could not even bring himself to say her name now…was murdered! In his own home! If he ever found out who the culprit was, he would tear him or her from limb to limb without any hesitation. 

Of course, he could not say that to Sirius, who had promised to step up on the investigations with the other Aurors. He would keep things from him if he knew about Harry's vengefulness. And Harry would not want that to happen. Whoever that bastard was, he wanted to know. 

Remus came into his room frequently after that night, not saying anything but just sitting down there on his bed, listening to him cry, offering a shoulder to cry on whenever he felt like he needed one. In a way, Harry was grateful for that. He did not want anybody to grind him about how he was feeling, which he thought for certain that Sirius would have done so. 

If not for Remus who had sternly instructed for the man to stay away from his godson if he had nothing better to say than 'how do you feel'. 

Tomorrow; the Hogwarts letter had already came for him. Tomorrow Remus would bring him over to Diagon Alley to get his books and other school supplies. Unlike previous years, Harry felt no excitement at all, no reason to look forward to a brand new year at Hogwarts. 

Without Hermione, Hogwarts would never be the same again. 

***

End of Chapter 3

Continue to Chapter 4


	4. Chapter 4

**Room 101 | Chapter Four**

**A Harry Potter Fanfiction By Majokai Yukiko**

**Pairing: Sirius + Remus**

**Warning: Slash. **

**Rating: PG-15, going up soon**

**Spoilers: A 'what-if' story following Prisoner of Azkaban**

**This is an amateur effort and does not intend to infringe on the rights of J K Rowling, Scholastic Books and their associates. **

**A/N: Well, usually I'll take this space over here to reply to some comments made by readers. But as this chapter was written long before it is to be posted, I guess I don't see much of a point, is there?**

Dedicated to Ally. Merry Christmas 2003 

---

"The mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell and a hell of heaven." Milton, Paradise Lost

"Ah—Choo!" Sirius sneezed loudly, after removing the lid of yet another dusty box, once again cursing his lover under his breath. Remus had very explicitly demanded that Sirius made himself useful over the weekends and clean up the attic while Harry and he would be out at Diagon Alley, shopping for the boy's school supplies. In some sense, he was probably glad that Remus had offered to take up the task.  How would he know how to talk to Harry without saying something insensitive? Still…

There was no need to volunteer him for spring cleaning, right?!

The dark-haired man rubbed at his already red nose self-pitying, flexing his fingers, ready to sort out another box of memories. And then he smiled. It was a box filled with his school paraphernalia. Right on top was the dark blue robe he had worn at the Yule Ball in his fourth year. Sirius had to grin at the memories of that night. Taking James' terrible advice, Sirius went on to drink himself silly before confessing his undying love for Remus. He had only planned to drink enough for Dutch courage, but he had not expected Bill Weasley to spike the punch. Anyhow, Remus had not believed him, but as a friend he had helped nurse him through the mother of all hangovers the next morning. It took Sirius one full month later to once again work up enough courage to profess. 

He set the robe aide. It was still in perfect condition, and wizarding robes were hard to go out of style. Perhaps Harry might want it, since it was already too small for Sirius now anyway. 

Next up was an old biscuit tin filled with some of the Marauders' inventions in their most glorious days. Sirius smirked, imagining the look on Molly Weasley's face if he ever gave these to her beloved twin sons. She would probably flip, Sirius figured. And Dumbledore would have him arrested for the mayhem caused in his school. 

Maybe I could persuade them to just use it on Snape. Surely the greasy-haired freak would appreciate a quick trip down memory lane when these little gadgets were used on him. 

But Remus would not, a small voice piped up. Moony never really approve of the pranks James and he pulled on Snape, enough though he had always turned a blind eye when they did. Most of the time he would rather not take part in the operation at all, or stand around and look pretty. 

And what a pretty picture he made too. Sirius put down the biscuit tin to pull out a metal photo frame. It had a photo of Remus the first time the gang had been to the beach together, when they were sixteen, after he had ran away from home. Sirius had been eager to try out the new muggle camera Uncle Alphard had bought him, snapping various candid photos of the Marauders when they least expected it. He had particularly liked this photo of Remus, looking out at the sea with the wind in his hair and a smile on his face. Sirius never thought anyone could even look so beautiful then, so…at peace with himself. 

Sirius removed the photo from its frame, tucking it into his shirt pocket, and making a mental note to slip it into his wallet later. Then he frowned and pulled out the photo again. There was something strange about that photo. Something that he could not place a finger to…what was it? He pursed his lips together and tried to remember. Nothing came to mind. 

Strange…Sirius shrugged, keeping the photo again. 

***

Harry's spirits dropped even lower when they reached Diagon Alley. The last time he was here, he was with Ron and Hermione. But now…out of the Wonder Trio, one was already gone. 

It was not fair! Out of the three, Hermione was the cleverest, the one with the most potential to make it big in the wizarding world, even more so than Harry, who only had baseless fame to fall back on. Why? Why did she have to die so young and so unaccounted for?

A strong hand clasped gently but firmly down on his shoulders, squeezing it slightly. He looked up to meet the concerned look on Remus' face, and forced a smile. Side by side, they walked into Flourish and Blotts, Harry to the right where he could get his school books for the fourth year, Remus to the left where he could pick out some books useful for his job as a curse breaker. 

Remus watched worriedly at the slumped back view of his ward. He could understand it was hard for Harry to handle the death of one of his best friends. After all, Remus had felt the same way when James died. But the difference then was that Remus was older then than Harry was now, and he probably had the maturity that Harry did not to handle his grief. 

He would pull through, Remus silently assured himself, casually browsing through shelves of books on curses and counter-curses. He was the son of James and Lily after all. 

Time passed quickly when one was having fun. Soon, an hour had passed. Remus took a look at his pocket watch and frowned. Harry should be here soon. And he was about done with his own shopping too, Remus smiled, hugging two thick books close to his chest. It was times like these that reminded him of his old school days, where books and knowledge were all that he sought. That he could simply bury himself deep inside his books and ignore the rest of the world. 

Of course, that was if James and Sirius could let him have a few moments of silence. 

As he passed an unexplored shelf, the silver and black words on a bright red spine caught his eye. He stopped, tugging the huge thick book out. 'Blood and Sex Magic'; the words on the spine read. Remus thought back fondly to just a week ago when Bill teased him in the office about sexual healing from Sirius. The werewolf grinned, his curiosity perked. 

'NO!' A voice inside his head screamed, sending his vision into a world of exploding green and red dots. Remus clutched tightly to the side of his throbbing head, ignoring the books that had fallen to the floor as he crouched down, whimpering in agony at the sudden pain.  ****

"Remus? You alright?" The pain slowly subsided, to the point when Remus could look up again before fainting. He saw Harry's furrowed brows, frowning at him worriedly. 

"Did you say anything?" He asked. The boy frowned even deeper. 

"I asked if you were fine."

"No, I mean, did you say anything before that? Shout or anything?" Harry shook his head, kneeling down on one knee beside Remus, picking up the books from the floor and adding them to his pile. He had assumed Remus would want these. The brunette massaged his temples, and then took out his purse from his robes and pushed them into Harry's hands, telling the boy to pay for the books himself while he waited for him outside to help carry the books. When Harry blinked confusedly at him, Remus only grinned gingerly. 

"Silver. Werewolves. Ouch. Remember?"  ****

True to his word, Remus had carried nearly all their packages when Harry left Flourish and Blotts. It was terribly convenient for them, that Grimmauld Place was only a twenty minutes walk from Diagon Alley. It was probably one of the reasons why the Blacks had chosen to build their ancestral home there instead of in the wizarding world where the other old wizarding families had done, such as the Burrow and Malfoy Mansion. 

Another would be that it was hard for them to be attacked by any Dark wizards when the house was just set right in the middle of muggle London. Or at least, that was what Harry thought, until Sirius laughed outright at this suggestion and said that if there were any Dark wizards other than Voldemort around, it would be the Black family. In terms of deeds and history, the Blacks were far more notorious than any other family in the community. 

Just as they reached the gateway between Diagon Alley and the muggle world, an oddly dressed man, odd even by wizards' standards, stopped them. The strange man leaned in close to Remus, as if trying to peer into every pore on that feline face. The werewolf narrowed his eyes and waited. 

"Do you want your fortunes read?" The man asked. 

"You are a soothsayer," Remus muttered airily, stepping to his side, wanting to brush past the strange man. 

"Yes, and I think you should have your future read." 

Remus shook his head. "No thanks," he declined politely, and then grabbed for Harry's hand, pulling the boy back into muggle London. Remus kept walking; barely slow enough for Harry to catch up. The boy panted slightly as he jogged to keep up with the other man. Why was Remus so afraid of a soothsayer? He wondered. 

Professor Trelawny's words at the Christmas dinner last year came into mind. _"He positively fled when I offered to crystal-gaze for him."_

They did not stop walking or slow down until they were a safe distance away from Diagon Alley. Finally, Remus smiled apologetically at Harry and waited for the boy to catch his breath. 

"Why?" Harry managed to choke up, bracing his hands against his knees tiredly. Remus shrugged. 

"When you are a werewolf, you won't want your fortune teller to announce that fact out loud in a place like Diagon Alley. Or anywhere else, for that matter. I rather like that place, and really won't appreciate being banned from it just because of what I could not help being."

***

The fireplace glowed with a chilly green fire when they got back, announcing the impending arrival of a visitor to Grimmauld Place. 

"I wonder who it could be," Remus asked out loud, taking out his wand from inside his robe and lifted the wards from the fireplace for a moment, admitting his visitor in. 

The Floo network was a curious thing. Some fireplaces, such as those at the shops in Hogsmeade were almost permanently accessible, except when the shops were closed. Most homes, however, had their fireplace protected by various wards, so as to keep out unwanted visitors when nobody was at home. 

The sallow, jarring face of Severus Snape soon appeared in the flames, before the Potions Master stepped out of the fire, lips pursed tightly into a thin line. 

"I see that you are finally home, Lupin," Snape sneered, brushing the soot and dist off his robes. It seemed that he had been waiting for a long time. 

"I'm terribly sorry, Severus," the brunette replied almost pleasantly, while he quickly rebuilt the wards. "Harry," he said without turning around. "Would you mind helping Sirius to tidy out the attic? He had been taking an awfully long time." If possible, Snape pressed his lips even more tightly together. 

Harry shook his head and slowly walked up the stairs, occasionally turning back to watch the adults. But every time he did, Remus would smile guilelessly back at him. It was obvious that they were not going to say anything while he was still around. With a huff of irritation at being once again treated like a child, Harry ran up the remaining steps leading to the attic where his godfather was. 

Back in the living room, Remus waited for Harry to be out of hearing range. Snape opened his mouth, as if to speak, when Remus beat him to it and shouted, "it's rude to eavesdrop, Harry!" There was a slight gasp above and then more footsteps before the house was silent again. It was a while before Remus spoke again, but eventually he did. 

"I take it that you got my owl, Severus." Remus walked into the kitchen and pulled out two cups form the top shelf. "Tea?" he offered. Snape started, as if in shock and then nodded after a moment's hesitation. The house was soon filled with the soft tinkling noises of tea making, and the sweet aroma of Earl Grey in the air. For that moment in time, they were not wizards, not old rivals at school, but just two countrymen taking a brief respite from their lives. It was a pity that this moment had to be broken. 

"I must admit," Snape said slowly, carefully choosing his words for once, "it was surprising for me to receive your post. May I enquire why?" 

Remus sat the cups on the table and then turned back to the kitchen cabinets searching for creamer and sugar cubes. 

"You know why, Severus." The werewolf replied softly, habitually dropping three cubes of sugar into Snape's cup of tea. The Potions Master nearly smiled but stopped himself in time. 

"You remembered," he commented, in what he hoped to be a neutral tone. But Remus kept his head low, idly stirring his tea, resolutely refused to give any answer to that offhanded comment. Snape sighed, and continued with their previous conversation. 

"You know the consequences of your request, don't you?" 

Remus nodded, lifting his cup to his lips to hide his expression. For the first time in many years, Snape let his concern for another show. He watched Remus Lupin carefully, studying the young but weathered face for any sighs of regret. This decision that Lupin was making was grave, the consequences were dire, so much so that Snape was afraid to ask what had brought about it. 

There was silence, until the brunette replaced his cup and saucer on the table, a hand reaching across the wooden surface to cover Snape's larger but no less calloused one. 

Snape stared disbelievingly at their joined hands and smiled fractionally, turning his palm up to entwine Remus' fingers with his own.  ****

***

Sirius was about to unpack yet another box of junk when his godson burst into the attic, plopping himself down on one of the many still unopened boxes around. Sirius grinned and turned back to scrape at the edge of the masking tape that sealed the box. 

"Had a fun shopping trip?" he asked, pulling and tugging at a small nip of tape. 

"Yeah, well, it's alright," Harry replied distractedly, still a little upset at being dismissed like a child. If he had any thoughts that he was currently behaving like one, he refused to let them show. 

"Then tell me, what's wrong?" Sirius finally managed to pull the decade-old tape off the box. He took hold of the two flaps of the box, and was about to open it when he heard Harry's next words. 

"It's Snape. He is here and Remus refused to let me stay in the room with him there," Harry pouted. Sirius' hands stiffened involuntarily. Mechanically, he got up from the floor with a scowl on his face. 

"What do they have to say that cannot be heard by you?' Sirius muttered, more to himself than to the teenager in the room with him. 

"Exactly—Sirius, are you okay?" Harry got up too, worried at the sudden anger emanating from Sirius' very pores. It was just a visit from Snape, right? Granted, the Potions Master was one of the most detestable people anyone could ever know. And given that Sirius had spent all seven of his Hogwarts years with that man, it was perfectly understandable if Sirius hated him tot eh very core. 

But he did not. That much Harry had known. Though Sirius refused to admit it, Snape had earned for himself quite some amount of Sirius' gratitude. If not for the many days and nights the Potions Master had spent brewing the Veritaserum potion for the trial, Sirius might not have gained his freedom. So why this anger?

Watching Sirius stormed out of the room, Harry's first thought was to stop his godfather lest things ended up very badly. Professor or not, Harry refused to see Remus and Sirius quarrel on Snape's account. 

Harry took a step forward. And then he stopped. He glanced back at the half-opened box on the floor. Three was something in there, something that called to him like a Siren's song, like moth to fire. Slowly, he reached out a hand to uncover the flap. Right at the top of its contents was a small leather-bound book. For a moment, Harry thought he could feel the magic swirling around it. It was familiar, somehow. Then it struck him. He realized what it was that attracted him and faltered. 

He should have recognized that magical aura from the start. It was similar to…to the aura that surrounded Riddle's nefarious diary too. 

Without a word, Harry pocketed the book and hurried downstairs, hopefully in time to stop the argument that was bound to take place. 

***

End of Chapter Four

Continue to Chapter Five


	5. Chapter 5

**Room 101 Chapter Five**

**A Harry Potter Fanfiction by Majokai Yukiko**

**Pairing: Sirius Remus **

**Warning: Slash. **

**Rating: PG-15, going up soon. **

**Spoilers: Up till Prisoner of Azkaban (A What-If That Takes Place after Canon)**

**This is an amateur effort and does not intend to infringe on the rights of J K Rowling, Scholastic Books and their associates. **

**A/N: The quote I used for this chapter sounded like part of a happy ending. Only those who had read the book knew exactly how tragic this "victory" is. **

**Finally!!! Finally another chapter!! hugs muse Hurry! Next! ;;;**

---

_"But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself." Winston, 1984_

"Oh, Sirius," Remus smiled pleasantly at his lover who had just stormed down the stairs like an avenging god. "Severus here was kind enough to bring me the Wolfsbane for this month."

Sirius stared hard at the tiny vials of potions set neatly on the kitchen table with an angry frown. Noticing his lover's dark mood, Remus quickly, but very politely shuffledSnape towards the fireplace. The flames turned green for a moment as the Potions Master flooed back to his dungeons back at Hogwarts. Remus waited for the flames to change back to its original red and orange before asking.

"What's wrong, Sirius?"

The dark haired man ignored him, and continued to glare at the tiny vials as if they were poison. It was not as if Remus had no idea what sick intentions the greasy freak held for him since they were children. Who knows what else he added in that potion? For all he knew, one of those vials might easily be a love potion in disguise.

"Sirius…" Remus began to grow more worried at his lover's lack of response. He walked a step or two towards Sirius, reaching out towards him, and gasped when he suddenly found himself pressed up against the table. The glass vials toppled and rolled off the table, breaking at their contact with the tiled kitchen floor.

"Tell me the truth, Remus Lupin," Sirius tightened his grip on the brunet's shoulders painfully. Remus winced and clenched his fists, restraining the urge to violently throw Sirius off him. "How many lovers have you had in the past twelve years?"

So consumed Sirius was with his jealousy and fear for losing his lover, he failed to notice just how much Azkaban had affected him. Over a decade spent alone in perpetual darkness and sorrow had chewed his insides out in the ugliest way ever. Any nudge in the wrong direction would let loose the insane wizard who escaped Azkaban. Like now.

Bright amber eyes widened in shock and disgust. Furious, he pushed Sirius off and onto the floor.

"You know better than I do, Black, that werewolves mate for life." Remus ignored the mess of broken glass and liquid on the tiles, and ran out of the house, andinto muggle London.

"I'm sorry," Sirius whispered, his head hung low like a kicked puppy. "But why do you need the Wolfsbane when I'm here?"

This was a perfect setting for a storybook murder, a scene worthy of Sherlock Holmes. A young girl, out alone in the smoky night of London's notorious East End, lost in the multitude of dark alleys. Her hunter—a well-dressed, bespectacled young man with a polite smile; he might be a journalist, or perhaps a teacher. There was this genteel feel to his appearance, thwarted only by the predatory glint in gold-framed eyes and the pungent smell of blood that clung on to him like moss.

He reached for her neck and she opened her mouth to scream voicelessly in fear. He wanted to bite, to tear, to devour, until his sharp senses picked up the scent of another prey, a more delectable one.

Mechanically, he broke her neck and let the rapidly cooling corpse fall to the ground. He scaled the chain-link fence with little difficulty and noise, turned around when he reached the top, and tookin a terrific view of the entrance to one of East End's many pubs.

He had his eyes set on a tall man with long black hair, tied loosely into a low ponytail. He rubbed his hands together and stuffed them into his pockets for warmth. After glancing around to check if he was followed, the man bowed his head and hurried into the pub.

Dark clouds were gathering in the night skies above him. He looked up, and leaped off the fence, landing nimbly on his feet. _Better get out of the rain then,_ he thought, and hurried into the bar.

The boy took a deep breath and gripped his wand tighter in his hands, just in case. He had no idea what the book he had laid out on his desk could do to him. But his previous experience with charmed books, especially those with dark magic oozing out of every page of it, told him that it was always safest to have his wand by his side.

'The Very Secret Diary of Remus J Lupin', the first page of the diary read. Harry recognized the ex-professor's neat handwriting. He smiled. It seemed as if Lupin had not changed much in the past three decades.

A photograph fell out of the next page he turned. It was a Muggle photo, unmoving, unlike Wizard photographs. Two identical looking young boys stared back at Harry from the aged surface of the black and white surface of the photograph. Even without colors, Harry could easily imagine the light brown hair of the two boys, dancing with the wind, the amber eyes of the twins, glowing in joy at their achievement for the day: the two large fishes they were carrying in their hands.

Harry frowned. He had never heard anything about Lupin having a twin brother. From what he heard about the brunet from his godfather, he always had the impression that Remus was the only child in his family, his parents driven almost insane with grief when he was bitten by a werewolf and survived.

He set the photo aside on the table. The questions would come later, he thought, and turned the page again to the first entry.

_7 June 1968 _

_My name is Remus John Lupin. I have never had the habit of keeping a diary, but I will as it's a desperate attempt to keep my sanity. My name is Remus John Lupin. I must keep reminding myself of this…_

_There is no Romulus. Romulus is dead. Remus survived. I survived. Therefore, I must be Remus, right? _

End of Chapter Five

Continue to Chapter Six


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